The chat between the friends
by angelgirl 158
Summary: A small chat between James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily.
1. We Thought You Were A Maniacal Tortoise

KEY:

_Lily_

James

**Sirius**

Remus

I'm bored.

**Really? I think Professor Binns is giving a very interesting speech...he has a point about the goblin rebellion of 1823...**

That's a lie.

What is?

What Padfoot just said.

**How did you know?**

Professor Binns is talking about the Witch Burnings of 1405.

**Phsaw...I knew that. I was making sure you knew that.**

Riight.

**How's Lily treatin' you? Oh right...like scum!**

HEY! That is a personal matter and I would appreciate it if you did not speak of it!

That's impossible.

**Well, at least I have a girlfriend.**

Who is it today? Your mom?

**DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY MOM! I HATE HER**!

That's nice. Hey, let's get Lily on here...

Really?

**Oh, joy**!

Really?

YES. No, Prongs, I'm joking. (Rolls eyes)

**Oh my god. Moony was sarcastic!**

GET LILY ON HERE!

_What?_

LILY!

_Oh no._

**Don't hurt Prongs...just go out with him.**

_I will when Bertie's Every Flavor Beans forget a flavor in their box._

That's a new one.

No fighting!

_Remus? I didn't know YOU were on here! What's up?_

Just hangin.

**WHAT?! Proongggsss! Moony's killing himself!**

_No you dimwit! He's hangin...it's a muggle phrase...you know what I'm not gonna bother explaining._

Yeah. Even I knew that and I'm wizard-born too!

**Phsaw, I knew that...just testing you.**

Riight.

**Again, Lily treating you like scum again?**

_I'm right here!_

Do you guys know what a goblin is?

_Yes._

Yes...duh.

**A goblin? What is that?**

Exactly.

**You tested me! Without my knowledge!**

And I just wrote down the date of a Wizard Burning. We don't need a recap!

**Grr.**

Please go out with me Lily. I won't hex Snivellus again. Heck, I won't even call him Snivellus! I will never ever hex Severus Snape ever again!

_No! You're still egotistical. And a prat._

YOU'RE A PRAT!

**Great way to make a girl like you, Prongs**.

(Sticks out tongue)

Eww.

**Stop being a girl, Moony!**

_Hey! I'm a girl!_

**Oh, really? I thought you were a maniacal tortoise!**

...

_...no comment._

You could have said ANYTHING. Anything at all and you choose a maniacal tortoise. That is so extraordinarily odd.

Ha. Extraordinarily odd. That's funny! YOU MADE A FUNNY MOONY!

Uhh.. okay.

Did you have sugar?

Just a sugar quill...oh. My shoulder looks yummy...

**I've never seen Prongs go sugar high...how much sugar is in a sugar quill?**

_A lot._

Like the amount in 50 chocolate frogs, 10 licorice wands, and 35 pumpkin pasties.

**That's a lot.**

Where is the chocolate?!

_Not here..._

Lily? I have a question: Who's you're best friend?

_YOU! (sarcasm intended)_

LOL.

**Lol? What is lol? Is it a lollipop or a lullaby?**

_No...idiot...it's a muggle thing meaning laugh out loud._

**Phsaw, I knew that I was just making sure you knew what you were talking about.**

Right.

_I'm gonna go to lunch now...we seem to be the only ones left in HoM._

GOOD IDEA! Chocolate...

I'm hungry...

**For a human?**

...

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	2. Shadows Don't Smile

_I'm bored._

LILY? You're BORED?

_Yes. I already know all about muggles._

Remind me again why you took Muggle Studies?

_I want to know about it from a Wizard's point of view. And because I forgot._

**Evans, you live with muggles, you were a muggle, and you are muggle-born. How do you "forget"?**

_I dunno. It just sounded like fun._

Or maybe because James is in it...

EWW!

You know you want me.

Remus, did James just wink at me?

I believe so.

**Hey, Lily, do you know who the blond girl is up there?**

_Professor Charity Burbanks? (__**A/N I don't know her last name...sorry)**_

**NO! Not the teacher!**

_Uhh the only other blond girl 'up there' is Alice..._

**...Never mind..**

Hehehehe...

**What are you laughing about?**

Nothing...

You know what I realized?

_What now?_

Shadows don't smile.

Really? Lemme try...

_Oh Merlin! You're right!_

**That's really creepy!**

I know! I was looking at my shadow and then I was like 'Whoa...it's not smiling!' and then I was scared.

_Wait...why would a shadow smile?_

I dunno...

_Isn't the point that they don't smile, though?_

**I'm so confused right now.**

Wait, so Prongs figured out that shadows don't smile...and Lily said that he was right, Sirius said it was creepy, Prongs said he was scared...then I asked why a shadow would smile anyway...James said he didn't know and Lily said that that was the point..then Padfoot said he was confused.

Your point is?

Ugh...that took a long time to write!

_It took a short time to read._

Shut up!

**I'm still confused.**

_How about we drop it?_

We still haven't figured out why shadows don't smile!

_How about because they are SHADOWS and not REFLECTIONS._

Ahhh that might make sense.

Thank you Lily.

_You're welcome._

**I'm STILL confused.**

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	3. I Can't Shut Up On Paper :D :D

I hate you.

Well that's not very nice.

Oh, sorry...I thought you were someone else.

Who?

Uhh..Snape?

Ooookay.

_I hate Snape._

?!

_Sorry...Sirius stole my paper. GO AWAY!_

**Hehehehehe**

If you had your own paper, why didn't you just use it?

**It was so tempting! Just sitting there...Lily was writing on it, too!**

_It was MY paper!_

**Phsaw...no one cares.**

If you say "phsaw" one more time...you know what will happen in 2 weeks.

**Oh god. I'm done.**

_What's in 2 weeks?_

Uhh..his birthday. So Moony will torture on his birthday. Sounds better than it is.

_I'm scared._

Is that sarcastic?

_Yes._

Oh...good.

**What are you gonna do about it, Moony?**

More than you think.

**Oh snap.**

Snap? SNAPE? WHAT?

_How did you get snap and Snape mixed up on PAPER?_

The E...I couldn't see...shut up!

_I can't shut up on paper :D_

(sticks tongue out)

LOL

**Yeah. What he said!**

Hey, don't copy me!

**I already did!**

_SHUT UP!_

**I can't shut up on paper :D :D !!**

_Hey! That's my thing..._

**I took it!**

LOL

Hey! PRONGS!

What?

Uhh...I don't know. Do you?

No...does Lily know?

_Know what?_

What ever Moony knows.

**What does Moony know?**

Everything.

_LOL_

**Moony made a funny...Moony made a funny...**

SHUT UP, PADFOOT!

_Hey! Potter used proper grammar!_

HA HA HA...no. Not funny, Evans!

I thought it was.

(sticks tongue out)

**Do you love to do that or something?**

Do what?

**Stick your tongue out over charmed paper?**

Yes. In fact, I do it in my free time.

Uhhh. Okay?

_That was extraordinarily odd._

HEY! That's mine!

_Well...Sirius Bighead Black STOLE my thing so I stole yours. Whatcha gonna do?_

Wouldn't you like to know?

**I would love to know.**

Shut up, Padfoot.

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	4. What Are You Gonna Do, Boogey Eyes?

Where did Peter go? I haven't seen him in two weeks.

_He remembered you go to Hogwarts and he died._

Ah hahahahaha...SHUT UP!

**You bring shame to the Black Family name, James...**

_And what is that?_

**If I knew, why would I tell you?**

That really didn't make any sense.

**YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!**

Shut up, Padfoot.

_I don't get your nicknames._

Oh. Moony is for wolf, my favorite animal. Padfoot is for a dog, Sirius' favorite animal. Prongs is for a stag, James' favorite animal. Wormtail, if he was here, is a rat. Peter's favorite animal.

_What kind of person has a rat as their favorite animal?_

**Wormy**.

Yeah. He is a strange fellow.

Stop talking like you are from the last 2 centuries or whatnot. I'm sure Padfoot doesn't understand you.

_Burn_.

**(sticks tongue out)**

HEY! Only I can do that!

**Well so-rry!**

Oh no you did not just snap you're fingers in the Z formation!

...

_(cricket noises)_

Hey...I thought it was cool...

_Yeah...if this was an alternate universe._

**Maybe it is!**

No. I'm positive it isn't.

**Oh, you wanna go, home boy?**

Let's take this outside!

_Let's not..._

Lily, go out with me?

_No_.

Okay...:(

_Awww...did I make you sad?_

Yes ;(

_Oh well!_

Wait...did they actually leave?

**No silly!**

Never say that again! It's both creepy and awkward.

**Just like you!**

How am I creepy?

**Okay what normal person cleans their room on a Saturday?**

_I do!_

**And you're creepy!**

OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT LILY EVANS!

**What are you gonna do, boogey eyes?**

Boogey eyes? Seriously, Padfoot mate, you need new puns.

**(raspberry)**

GASP!

_You guys are the strangest people I know._

**That's a good thing, right?**

As good as McGonagall in a bikini.

Oh god. Bad mental image.

_Ew_.

**Why did you say that in TRANSFIGURATION?**

Dunno. Forgot we were in Transfiguration.

_How_?

I already know about animagi.

_How_?

My mom is one.

_How_?

You really like the word 'how' don't you?

_More than you know ;D._

**Okay if THAT isn't creepy what is?**

I don't know...but it was also scary...and mean.

_How was it mean?_

Just felt like saying that. YOU'RE MEAN! SHUT UP!

AND DON'T SAY YOU CAN'T SHUT UP ON PAPER!

_I wasn't going to..._

I bet she was.

_Shut your mouth up!_

**You can't shut your mouth up! You can only shut it down!**

Uhh..okay?

In the words of Remus Lupin: That was extraordinarily odd.

You know it :D.

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	5. What If I Told You I Killed Your Mom?

What if I told you I killed your mom?

**Who's mom?**

Yours.

**I'd jump up and down and ask you how you did it.**

That's nice. (sarcasm intended) Prongs, how about you?

I would hit you seven times and then give you pure silver.

_Why silver? It's not like he's a werewolf._

No...but he hates it. He told me before. He said "Prongs, I hate silver".

_Okay. That's a random thing to say._

Don't ask me...ask Remus!

**LOL I remember that!**

_Remus..._

I DO!

_Oookay._

**LOL**

Wanna use Muggle terms again?

**Sure!**

_Let's not..._

I'm in!

Fo shizzle! Did you see the bomb test? That was so tight!

_I'm positive you guys have no idea what you are saying..._

**No we don't 'lil bird!**

_...no..._

Wanna hang homie?

_Like a bird!_

Okay...let's stop.

_You're the one who started it!_

I got bored! See what you did? You made me LISTEN to the teacher!

**What is your problem, Lily?**

I was talking to you.

**Oh.**

Hehehee.

**What are you laughing at, pig head?**

Oh, Pads. You really need to get new jokes.

_Yeah. My great-uncle Gard could have made up something better than that._

You have a great-uncle? Named GARD?

_Yes, I agree that the name is abnormal. I think his mom or dad was from some unknown country._ _**(A/N- No offense to anyone named Gard!)**_

I agree with that too.

**I have a second cousin named Bart. Is that close?**

_No._

**Oh.**

Hahahaha.

OMG.

_What?_

Professor Sprout...she said yesterday that she loved the name Gard and Bart.

**Sooo...?**

I don't know...just felt like letting you know that.

Moony, Moony, Moony...so much to learn, so little time.

_That was odd._

**You are odd!**

_Thank you._

**You're welcome...wait, what?**

You guys are so funny!

Okay...that's nice. I think Lily is in love with me.

_?? How random is that lie?_

Not at all, sweet bottoms.

_Ew._

Prongs, if you know she's going to say no, then why do you insist on bothering her?

Because I love her!

_I'm sorry, but I feel the exact opposite._

Not for long!

**SHUT UP! Gosh gee!**

Gosh gee...never heard that one before.

**Now you have ;).**

Did you just wink?

**Yes I did, babe.**

Oh god. Sirius, I guess you got tired of girls but I'm not interested. Moony might be.

WHAT?! Gross! I wouldn't even touch Padfoot!

_**That is disgusting. Guys are gross**__._

_You are one but that's okay if you change your mind..._

Let's end this conversations before I throw up.

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	6. Do You Know What 10 Equals?

_Do you know what 10 equals?_

Uhhh...OH!...10!

_No. 10._

I'm confused. Explain.

_I'm not a test._

Huh?

_I dunno._

What?

_What?_

Huh?

_I don't know!_

Neither do I!

**I know!**

What do you know?

_Nothing, I bet._

**You are one NOT funny person!**

Lily, we belong together!

_Yeah we belong together like manicures, pedicures, and Sirius Black._

**HEY!**

_What? It's true!_

HEY!

_It IS true..._

I will prove you wrong, Lily Bear. Yes I will!

_Okay...do that. I'll be living my life until then._

**We can only grow older, Lily.**

Did Sirius Black just say something meaningful?

_Yes he did!_

That deserves a pat on the back!

_No it doesn't._

No..it doesn't does it?

No...

Oh.

**Yeah.**

Sooo...

How are you doing?

_Good, actually. I just fought with my arch rival. That felt good._

Who is your arch rival?

To call that question stupid is an understatement.

**Yes, it is.**

_It's more than an understatement. It's an over understatement._

Exactly!

This couldn't get more awkward, could it?

**Nope.**

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	7. Ididont

_Where is my other quill?_

What other quill? Don't you only need one?

_I always have two in case the one I'm using breaks._

Why don't you just use Reparo?

_...I don't know. I had a reason!_

**Hehehe...I stole it!**

Ididont.

What is Ididont?

_Some crazy thing Potter made up._

It's an idiot who shouldn't have done what he did. Idiot + don't ididon't.

_That's really wierd._

I like it! Hey, Padfoot, you're an ididon't!

**HEY! That's unfair! I didn't know you were gonna say that!**

You ididon't! Of course you didn't! Retard!

**...still unfair.**

_I am rolling my eyes right now._

So am I.

_Gosh. Stop copying me._

No!

**GO AWAY EVERYONE!**

I won't call you an ididon't!

**Okay :D!**

Dementors? Where?!

Huh?

_I'm very confused._

**What?**

_Confused, Sirius. It's when someone doesn't understand something._

**Oh!**

I thought...never mind.

Ooookay.

**I hate being stupid.**

_Then study._

**Ew. I'm not you.**

Please go to Hogsmead with me!

_NO!_

**Someone's in love...(cough-Lily-cough)**

Are you? Are you? Are you?

_No. No. No._

I'm bored.

**Really? (sarcasm intended)**

No need to tell us about your sarcasm, Padfoot...

_Did you see? Alice just kissed Frank! IN FRONT OF FLITWICK!_

**Really? Oh, because we aren't 6th years, we are 1st years! You need to get a life...geez.**

Yeah.

_I don't get you guys._

What's not to get? We are the best people ever! Well more like I'M the best person ever..

**Look who's narcissistic...**

_Whoa...you said a big word._

**No. That was actually Moony. He wrote that sentence than stole my paper.**

_Why would you say that about yourself?_

I wanted to make Padfoot look smart. ;) We're a team.

**Ooookay. I'm gonna pretend like that DIDN'T happen.**

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End file.
